Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in eledamris' LiveJournal:

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Thursday, December 18th, 2008
4:08 pm	Christmas Well, I've finished my Christmas shopping. If anyone is trying to figure out what to get me, I'll make it simple: Warhammer. I know, I have a lot, but I paint quickly and I'm pretty sure that I could buy a BMW if I sold what I have right now. I just want boxes of Choas Warriors and boxes of Dark Elf Warriors. You can never have too many of either of those. (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 9th, 2008
2:51 pm	Birthday/Halloween Party Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like to invite you all to the 26th annual celebration of the birth of the Master of Mankind and Immortal Emperor of All Humanity (i.e. me), and doubling it as a Halloween party. I'm having it at my place on October 18th. Let me know if you're coming. All you need to provide is your costume and some booze, and we're gonna get crunk and wild. (Comment on this)
Saturday, August 2nd, 2008
10:58 am	What You Think Of Us Something came to my attention today. I was talking to someone at the bike shop who was telling me that someone had told him that he should join the Army. His reply was "Hah, I'm not that desperate just yet." This was quite an epiphany to me. It summed up everything I had been feeling about the attitude that the general public has toward us in that one ignorant sentence. Ladies and gentlemen, let me put this to rest right now: we are not in this profession because we are desperate. To me, it is the highest calling that a human being can have (yes, above priests/preachers/reverends). You volunteer to put your body between your home and those who would seek to destroy it. To those of you who think that this is suicidal foolishness, I say that you are cowards with no sense of honor. "Desperate"? Are we the poor, downtrodden meek of the earth who failed at everything else until we were forced to sell ourselves to the big bad government for our daily bread? No, not even close. We are proud, honorable men and women who are some of the most capable, courageous and loving people you will ever meet. Break down anywhere within 50 miles of an Army base and odds are the person who pulls over will have a Department of Defense tag on their windshield. We do not join the Army out of a desire to kill or destroy. We don't do it for the money. We don't do it because we want to belong. We do it because we believe that the country, our way of life, the safety of our families, and certainly not least, our fellow Soldiers are worth fighting to protect. And to those of you who still think that we're fools, I invite you to lace up your boots, fall in and see for yourself. But then, I suppose you're just "not that desperate." (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 17th, 2008
5:59 pm	Word To Yo Mother Well you can all start calling me Captain Gabriel Thorn now. That sounds cool. If you're looking for me to congratulate you can find me in either Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas, New Mexico, Colorado, Wyoming, Kansas, Missouri, Arkansas, or Tennessee. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 4th, 2008
11:11 pm	Baq from Iraq Party at my place Ladies and Gentlemen, in honor of the good people of the greater Mesopotamian area, I'm having a party at my place on 14 June, 2008. It'll probably kick off around 8:00 PM, but you can get there early. This is reserved for people I know for real. Bring booze, because my stash won't last for all of you. I have some badass party stuff though, so be prepared for the awesomeness that is "GabeFest '99 (I know it's fucking 2008, shut up)" (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 29th, 2008
5:25 pm	Big Fish Well it's turning into a fucking circus trying to get out of here. I'm one of only a few guys still here from 3rd ID, but I don't know when exactly I'm going to be getting back. I do have a sneaky suspicion that I'm going to get left behind here and have to find my own way back, in which case I may have to steal a tank and drive through Baghdad, then hop a civillian flight to Turkey where I'll maybe find a flight out of there, but as I have no passport it will be a bitch getting back into the States, so I might have to find a flight to Mexico and come across illegally. But that's just speculation. If the Army's track record with me is any indicator though, I'm in for some fun. (Comment on this)
4:10 pm	I AM YOUR GOD EMPEROR Ok ladies and gentlemen, I'd just like to inform you that you are all now my subjects. I have assumed authority of the human race and it is up to me now whether you live or die. I'd like to start by thanking all of those who supported me, because you won't be culled. All the rest of you, now's a good time to start supporting me. Your compliance is appreciated, though unnecessary, and we'll strive to make sure that humanity continues to spread throughout the expanse of the universe though my patented "Manifest Destiny on Acid" plan. China, you're tasked with providing an unlimited number of human guinea pigs on my space program, which, consequently, will help out a lot (though indirectly) in making sure that we take care of the world's food crisis by giving us fewer mouths to feed. Also, be prepared for a FRAGO that details your requirements for human labor in building our spaceships. Gas prices will be going down, though it won't really matter because I'm tasking Japan with building and distributing enough electromagnetic powered cars to have at least one per household. Those will be coming to your houses via IPS (Imperial Parcel Service). Mexico, Puerto Rico, and Cuba, you're going to be creating teams for each nation on Earth (team size will be determined proportionately for nation population size) to make sure that every family has an adequately sized house for the family size, and God knows you'll do the roofs well. France, you're tasked with catering these exercises. And last but not least, America, you will be tasked with bringing the food. That's right, Midwest, get ready because Winn Dixie is about to be putting in a BIG order. That's all for now, and long live me. (Comment on this)
Friday, May 16th, 2008
5:12 pm	Homecoming I'm on my way home now (applause). I'm currently in Kuwait waiting on a flight back, and I'm pretty damn ready to go. Kuwait really is like one giant beach with no water, at least not until you get down to the port. Then there's some water. For now, I'm just soaking in the plentiful (I fucking mean it, very, very plentiful) sunshine, watching movies, and playing video games. I'm definately ready to get back to you guys, especially MK. (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 4th, 2008
8:28 pm	To Those About to Rock, We Salute You Well ladies and gentlemen, I haven't been on much lately. I'm trying to get everything ready to come home, and if I don't answer your emails for a few days then that's why. I've been working, on average, 16-18 hour days and most of it is in the motorpool, which is reaching the 100+ degree range right now, so unfortunatley I haven't been able to keep up with everyone back home. But rest assured, as soon as I'm able I want to hear how everyone's lives have been going, and I should be home (possibly) within the next month or so. (Comment on this)
Monday, March 24th, 2008
10:24 am	Defend Yourself This month is apparently "Women’s History Month." Last month was "Black History Month." I believe it’s October that is "Native American History Month." This is all bullshit. I understand the argument that there is no "White Man History Month" because that’s every other month. I know. White people have oppressed, conquered, enslaved and massacred everyone at some point or another. Not very popular, but still in power. Here’s the thing. If you want to be categorized, you need to be able to defend your categorization. Stop trying to make me respect you "just because." I don’t give a shit about your diversity. I do give a shit about your merits as a person, without regard to race, gender or sexual orientation. You are not the color of your skin, just as you are not what you own. Identifying with a racial, gender, or sexual preference-based group is no different than identifying yourself as a "Chevy Man" or a "Nike wearer." But you still will. So I put it to you. If you want to be identified by your race, gender, or sexual orientation, you need to defend the merits and accomplishments of that group. Don’t tell me to respect it just because it’s there. (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 23rd, 2008
5:21 am	Chung on History So we set up our supply clerk to find a piece of paper with a swastika on it on another soldier's bed to lead him to believe that he was a Nazi. The other guy was in on it. Hijinks ensued. Chung: Oh shit, so he's a Nazi? Me: Well it looks like it, he does have a swastika drawn on that paper. Chung: But I thought he was white. He always smiling and stuff. Nazi don't smile. Nazi just look like this (makes serious mean-mugging face), but white people's always smiling. Me: Well maybe he's a Nazi in a white person disguise. Chung: Oh, so he is like, "Hey, look at me, I'm happy white person" but on the inside he takes off the white person mask and he's got all Nazi head skin shit under it. I see (looks suspiciously at the other soldier, who is obliviously playing Xbox). Me: Yeah, well that sort of thing happens Chung. What do you know about the Nazis? Chung: Well sir, I go to High School, so let me tell you about Nazis. They're Germans, and their leader is Hillr, uh, Hillar, uh, I mean, Hillary. No, shit, she's a president. Hitler! That's him. And he dead now. But the Nazis killed all the Jews because they were eating all the food, so they throw the Jews into the burnpit so the Jews stop eating all the Nazis food. So Americans came and killed the Nazis because Americans like Jews. Me: Chung, you are one funny motherfucker. We could put you on stage and just have someone ask you questions and you would make millions of dollars, man. Chung: I could buy Ferrari? Me: Hell yeah, you could buy a dozen Ferraris and a mansion in California and sleep with supermodels and all that. Chung: (confused look on his face) Why would I sleep with Super Marios? (Comment on this)
Friday, March 21st, 2008
2:34 am	The World Let me explain something about the world. Americans have very little in the way of a reality check, so I'm going to say this. I don't expect any of you to take anything that I say to heart, and I fully expect you to brush it off as being my "dumb military opinion", but you'd be wrong. View the world as one gigantic metropolitan area. America is the suburb of the world. Europe is the "historic downtown" area. Australia is the boondocks way outside town. Most of the world, however, is the inner-city ghetto. They don't hate you because of religion or politics or morals or any of that crap. They just hate you because you're the uncaring, wealthy, whiney bitches whose biggest real concern is catching the newest episode of Survivor or how fat your ass looks. I mean honestly, you think you're poor because you don't have a 42" plasma TV and a Benz. Are you fucking kidding me? Your ghettos are better than the nice districts in most of these countries. Still, you'd much rather contribute to charities that make you feel good about yourselves rather than take real action in making the world better. You sleep well at night when you donate money to some off the wall "Save the Children of Botswana" charity. You don't even know where the fuck Botswana is. They hate you because of your frustrating resistance to the idea that everything has a peaceful resolution. You just can't accept that everything boils down to violence in the end. They hate you because they see you as weak. They hate you because you're soft, self-righteous, soccer moms. They hate you for all of these reasons and a million more. You are condescending, patronizing, and have the material wealth that they want. They want what you have but they don't respect your right to have it. Of course, that's just my uneducated opinion. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 12th, 2008
1:42 am	The World and Why It Hates You Let me explain something about the world. Americans have very little in the way of a reality check, so I’m going to say this. I don’t expect any of you to take anything that I say to heart, and I fully expect you to brush it off as being my "dumb military opinion", but you’d be wrong. View the world as one gigantic metropolitan area. America is the suburb of the world. Europe is the "historic downtown" area. Australia is the boondocks way outside town. Most of the world, however, is the inner-city ghetto. They don’t hate you because of religion or politics or morals or any of that crap. They just hate you because you’re the uncaring, wealthy, whiney bitches whose biggest real concern is catching the newest episode of Survivor or how fat your ass looks. I mean honestly, you think you’re poor because you don’t have a 42" plasma TV and a Benz. Are you fucking kidding me? Your ghettos are better than the nice districts in most of these countries. Still, you’d much rather contribute to charities that make you feel good about yourselves rather than take real action in making the world better. You sleep well at night when you donate money to some off the wall "Save the Children of Botswana" charity. You don’t even know where the fuck Botswana is. They hate you because of your frustrating resistance to the idea that everything has a peaceful resolution. You just can’t accept that everything boils down to violence in the end. They hate you because they see you as weak. They hate you because you’re soft, self-righteous, soccer moms. They hate you for all of these reasons and a million more. You are condescending, patronizing, and have the material wealth that they want. They want what you have but they don’t respect your right to have it. Of course, that’s just my uneducated opinion. (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 7th, 2008
12:34 pm	Where I Am I am still trying to figure out what I want to do after I get back home. I have too many options to track, and I'm still trying to sort out what I want out of life. There are so many options, and honestly I'm not too sure about any of them. I'm constantly getting battered around because when I think I'm going to go in one direction, something happens to make me question it. I'm thinking seriously about getting out of the Army, but I want to do it for the right reasons if I do. Most of the world is incredibly ignorant about the military, and any sort of suggestions you/they will give me will most likely be discarded on the grounds of just being fucking dumb. Example: If you tell me I could always get a job as a cop or security guard, then you're a moron. I manage over $16 million of equipment and 145 personnel in combat. I think working security is a bit below my skill level. I'm also tired of being a "company man". There's nothing at all wrong with working for something that you believe in, but to compromise your beliefs because your job tells you to is bullshit. A lot of what I think doesn't correspond with the official story that the Army wants to put up, and that's really discouraged. I believe that the Iraqi people are all worthless heathens and theiving bastards; the Army wants us to treat them like American civilians. Even the ones trying to kill us. It's all because they want you people back home to think that we're helping the good people of Iraq. Unfortunately, there are no good people of Iraq. Did you know that this country had a $30 billion windfall last year? And they claim that they're broke! They want us to do everything for them. It's bullshit. And I don't want to perpetuate that. I don't want my opinions, beliefs or values owned by whoever pays me. So I'll take my paycheck for now, because I don't have much of a choice, but I'm really thinking about getting out as soon as my term is over. Then again, the civillian world isn't all that great either. I've thought about moving around a lot, just seeing the world and doing whatever I want, but then I have to consider the long term. Can I find a job when I decide to settle down? So yeah, I'm still trying to sort out a lot of shit. I feel like I'm stuck between settling down or doing all the things I want to do. I'm not that concerned with being responsible because really I don't have anyone to be responsible for, so there's that. I worry that no matter what I do, I'll be pulling people away from what they want to do, and it's a choice between my own happiness or theirs. I don't know that I want that. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 5th, 2008
10:04 pm	Superbowl Ok, I think everyone knows that I don't give a shit about football, and this Superbowl was at 4AM here so there was no fucking way I was going to be awake for that. But I did actually care who won. I was happy that the Giants won it. Not because I give two shits about the Giants, or because I hate the Patriots, but because in the last few days I've seen this guy named Tom Brady on TV a lot, and if anyone in the world looks like he should have the word "Prick" tattooed on his forehead, it's him. So I was happy that he lost. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008
8:39 pm	African Heritage Month I'm celebrating my African Heritage this month. To look at our Dining Facility(DFAC), you'd think that most of the Army was from Africa. There are at least 200 pictures with "Honoring African Heritage" and either a picture of MLK Jr. or the continent of Africa. It was confusing, because I wasn't sure whether MLK Jr. was from Georgia or Zimbabwe. But fuck it, I'm celebrating my African Heritage. I'm very proud to have come from a long line of evolution, most of which happened in Africa, which stretches from the chimpanzee all the way up through the first upright walking ape through cavemen and the French, and on through the first homo-sapiens, up to the modern specimen of evolutionary perfection that I am. Of course, now I have to start celebrating Mesopotamian Heritage Month, European Heritage Month, and lest we forget, Nomadic Tribes of Central Asia and Eastern Europe Heritage Month. While I'm thinking about it, I think I'm going to celebrate diversity too. I'm going to find someone of a different race today and dress like him. We'll have matching outfits. You might even call them uniforms. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 19th, 2008
3:27 am	A few pointers to the world Ok, so I haven't done too many posts with any real substance lately. I decided that I needed to now, because though I don't always have something to say, I do have those occasional moments where I just can't shut up. Firstly, something that pisses me off. It seems like there's a trend in most novels to ban the word "and" in most senteces. For example, if I were to describe a road, I would say it is "long, concrete and winding." Many writers these days, for whatever reason, like to exclude the word "and" and just call it "long, concrete, winding." I can't tell you why this pisses me off, other than that it seems like it's trying too hard to be dramatic (and if there's one thing I hate, it's drama). Just point #1. Secondly, lets talk about the overuse of the word "Democracy." Ok, I know most of you think that the sun always shines out from behind a cloud and a heavenly chorus starts up every time someone says "democracy," but lets be real for a minute. You don't live in a democracy. The United States is not, and has never been, a democracy. I don't know where the misinformed morons of the world got the idea that they do, aside from maybe other misinformed morons, but they don't. Democracy means that everyone gets a vote on everything. We live in a Republic, which means "Representative of the Public." You vote for the people who will get a vote on things, but you do not directly get a say in it. Now lets look at "Democracy"s biggest, scariest enemy: "Communism." If you're thinking to yourself just now, "Communism is the worst system of government ever, and it was created by Satan" then you are a moron. Not for your beliefs, by any means. Communism is a shitty system, but it's not a system of government. It's an economic system, just like Capitalism. The Soviet Union was formally known as the United Soviet Socialist Republic. See that last word? Republic... sounds familiar. Instead of basing their economy off of Capitalism, however, they chose Communism. Didn't work so well, at least for them, but it works for China with a few modifications. See, here's my beef: The people who are telling you what's good and bad in the world use such poor rhetoric that most of the nation gets confused. You start thinking that we're "Making the world safe for democracy" for instance. Why should we do that? We don't practice it, because it's too cumbersome a system and it has too many flaws. A republic works pretty well as a compromise between democracy and a monarchy, so we go with that. And instead of calling a system "Socialist" or "Communist" to condemn it, maybe we should understand what that means. Or we're "fighting for freedom," as our beloved Commander in Chief says so often. What does that mean? Freedom for who, from who? I'd rather just fight for Capitalism and get a piece of the pie. Or fight for to gain more natural resources so that my bills will go down. Get wise, folks, get wise. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 8th, 2008
11:54 am	Iraq...still I got pretty heated yesterday, and then again today because it finally dawned on me what it is that's been bothering me so much since we got here. It's the fact that all the money we spend building up Iraq comes from American tax dollars. Basically, my dad gives away 30% of his paycheck so that these bastards can build water treatment plants and recreation centers and water parks and schools after they blow their old ones up. Basically, you're paying the people who are trying to kill me. We're throwing TRILLIONS of dollars into a country that we'll never get anything out of. The American people are paying their taxes to take care of a whole country who hates them, and getting nothing at all out of it. No oil, no natural resources, no thanks, NOTHING. Man. Fuck this, we need to pillage this place and bring in our own oil companies with a stipulation that they pay nothing to drill here, but they have to sell exclusively to the U.S. at a reduced rate. Or at least cut our losses here. It burns me up that we're wasting lives and money on this place. These people have no minds of their own, and they'll never fend for themselves. They look to their leaders for everything, and as long as we're giving it to them they'll never make any progress. That brought me to a realization about the Army. No matter what I do here, it's for a pointless organization, at least in this war. If I was working for a corporation, at least I could say that my job is to make my company money. Say I was working for Sprint, setting up cell phone towers. I could at least say that we made Sprint a lot more money because we opened up a whole new area where people could use their service, and now I can talk from this part of the planet. Or if I were working for Shell oil, I could say that I'm making money for my company and helping the price of oil go down by bringing more of it into the market. But in the Army, all I do is maintain our position here. My job is to be here. Nothing more. I don't help the Army by doing what I do. I don't turn a profit by doing what I do. I won't make any more money or be promoted any faster no matter how well I do my job. I'm giving up a year and a half of my life to come and sit in the desert and try not to lose any of my unit's stuff. I'm away from everything that I love to sit in a boring, shitty desert and twiddle my thumbs hoping that nobody lost anything today. My biggest source of excitement is riding in a truck for an hour to drop off mail and laundry once a week, and that's only remotely exciting because it's a change of scenery (though once you've driven the route a hundred times I hesitate to call it that) and a chance to get blown up by one of the assholes that the American people are paying their taxes to. Bitter? Nooo. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, December 23rd, 2007
12:11 am	Back in Iraq Well I'm back here, much to everyone's dismay, including my own. I'm trying to decide what to do now. I only have just over a year left on my contract, so I have several options open to me. Option #1: I can go with the SF thing and become a Green Beret, but that will require a great deal of time away from home for training, as well as consume my life for the next few years. Option #2: Stay in and go to the Captain's Career Course for Armor, get a Company Command and only incur 1 more year of obligation onto my contract. Option #3: Stay in and go to the Captain's Career Course for Signal, take over a Staff section for Communications or (slim possibility) take over a Signal Company. Option #4: Get out and work in the Civilian Sector, which could possibly mean getting more money and definately more time home. It's a tough decision. The chances of getting deployed if I go to the Career Course are about 50/50, and though it definately wouldn't be another 15 month deployment, it would not be pleasant. The chances of getting deployed in SF are about 100%, but that's what I would want to do there and they're only 3-4 month deployments with 8-9 months at home in between. The civilian side seems safe and happy, and I wouldn't have to go through the hell of leaving again, but what are the real rewards there? Decisions decisions. (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 27th, 2007
3:08 pm	History It's amazing to look back on history and see where we've come from. For instance, who would believe that after discovering America and writing the Declaration of Independence, Christopher Columbus was also responsible for winning the war against the Revolutionary War against the British. Of course, we all know that this led to the American Indians being repressed and sold into slavery (which of course was the reason for the Civil War), and those who did fight back had to go across the ocean to try to rebuild their strength, and most of them ended up fighting in the Crusades. When the Apache conquered Jerusalem it really disrupted the balance of the world, especially since they worshipped the Great Spirit instead of Allah or Jesus. In fact, after that most of Europe paid the Apache Indians tribute so that they could visit Jerusalem and pray, but then of course the Pope sent King Richard the Lionheart to expell them, which he was able to do. After being booted from Jerusalem the Apache finally settled in the country to the North of Israel, which we now call Turkey to remember that it was the Indians who gave us the first Thanksgiving. Isn't history awesome? (Comment on this)